the urge to SI

I have the worst urge to hurt myself, I feel like such an idiot because the last time i harmed was yesterday and im so close to doing it again. today has been a bad day disablity wise, i have little control of my body im craving the control. the mad thing is i don't know if i have enough control of my body to harm. regardless of the control issue I am fighting the urge to harm, recently my self harm is almost an impluse. an impuse to gain the control my medical conditions don't allow. I have no idea what to do