living with a disablity (poem)

my body is a cage,
wish i could turn the page,
the pain is off the gage,
wishing i could change the rage,
still unable to turn the page,
fill my body with the hate,
this is not a life i'd rate.

What do you do when you're really depressed?

listen to music

Ask me anything

Would you rather get up early or sleep late?

get up early

Ask me anything

What was your favorite book as a child?

pooh bear

Ask me anything

another poem

Sitting on the bed feeling dead,
The urge is hitting in your head.
You want to see the blood shed,
By pain you are lead,
Even if you’ve never bled,
It’s still not clever is what is said,
Ever lasting scars remain,
There is nothing left to gain.

yay

No self harming In 4days .


but feeling low "I wanna belive In me"

poem

Im fading
sick of complaining.

life likes to throw bricks
why not put self harm in the mix?

some find it is a fix
a way to escape life's unwanted kicks.
it's not like i use a knife

I still wanna live my life,
might live to be a wife.
fight on for the hope,
but you may never learn how to cope.

the urge to SI

I have the worst urge to hurt myself, I feel like such an idiot because the last time i harmed was yesterday and im so close to doing it again. today has been a bad day disablity wise, i have little control of my body im craving the control. the mad thing is i don't know if i have enough control of my body to harm. regardless of the control issue I am fighting the urge to harm, recently my self harm is almost an impluse. an impuse to gain the control my medical conditions don't allow. I have no idea what to do

welcome to my life

two medical condions i should have learnt to deal with by now, erm I mean i was born with them, but with C.P you never know what you will be able to do when you wake up it's life on a rolercoaster
" will I have to ask someone to help me out of bed?" I mean I know there is always someone worse off then you, but I keep the presure of these conditions to myself and drove myself to self harm to have the control that I crave. sitting in bed typing this im thinking to myself I should really stop complaining, I use a wheelchair fine so do alot of people, I have these condition so do plenty of other people, so why am i complaining here right now? I really don't know, I refuse to talk about or complain about how my conditions make me feel verbally because I feel like it should not be an issue and i do not want to bother people.Today is one of those days where I have a serve urge to self harm but I haven't enough control to do so. my body is taken over by pain that I can't justify in my head or control.

I have the worst headache going that could be a common headache or because or epilepcy another thing that you can't control you never know if you will fit or what you will be like after. dr's said they thought I had grown out of it and then a year and a bit ago they say it's back I just want control of things.

I WANT TO SCREAM !